Sza was onto something when she wrote 20 Something. The song captures to a good degree what navigating the 20s feels like. Especially when she sings: “prayin’ my 20 somethings won’t kill me.” Because omo, sometimes it really do be like that.
I’m starting this newsletter because I’m 20 something and life is weird in your 20s. If you’re 20 something like me, then you probably understand what I mean. We've reached a point where our actions are taking on their own shape and bearing consequences, and we must be deliberate with the decisions we make. Mummy and Daddy can’t save us anymore, and even if they could, we know that their involvement would subtract from our freedom, which is something we don’t want.
20 something is crazy times. At times it feels like we’ve been dropped into a boxing ring, and we’re fighting against Mike Tyson’s bigger cousin. Other times, it feels like a house party by 4 am, mushy and soft ‘round the edges. Most times, however, it’s a tumbleweed of confusion we stomach inside while presenting a cool front to the outside world. Now more than ever I understand why all the uncles and aunties I admired as a kid always seemed tired. Adulting is not beans, especially when you’re not prepared for it.
As a Nigerian living in Nigeria, adulting is something we’re thrown into more often than not. The school doesn’t prep us for this business. There are no internship roles for it either. Our parents try their best. They bathe us as kids in order to save water, take us to school and back, choose what major we study at the University and forbid us from nurturing romantic relationships. The most we get on financial education is them keeping aside the money uncles and aunties give us during holidays. But this is not enough because the money sometimes disappears and when we accuse them of theft they tell us: where do you think your school fees money is coming from? If it doesn’t disappear (and this is if we’re lucky) they tell us to pay our tithe at church and keep some aside, which is good-natured advice but may not be the wisest way to save money in a country where the currency falls like water.
We’re lucky if we get taught to drive, especially as girls. Nobody has that kind of time. Then one day our parents wake up and look at us as if we dropped from the sky, asking questions like: “When are you bringing a man home?” and “Why are you still living in my house and eating my food if you’re not going to pay rent?”
Like I said, crazy times.
20 something will be composed of random musings about this magical decade, as the spirit leads. On some weeks I’ll give you the gist of what’s going on in my life, on other weeks I’ll spew inspirational shit (because let’s be honest, life tuff and we need motivation to keep the machine running). I’ll talk about friendship and finding purpose, relationships, heartbreak and school, navigating employment, and everything else. I’ll also share music I like, movies I’m watching and books I’m reading because sometimes, the art we consume is the only thing that keeps us from knocking our heads intentionally on the bathroom floor.
That being said, welcome to 20 Something, grab a blanket and a can of pringles and make yourself comfortable.
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The journey has begun and we are here for it
Love this🔥…take us on the journey 💕