The most interesting thing about this story is you living in Venezuela. Igbo people just be living anywhere mehnn.
There are two things I consider instrumental in changing the dynamic of my relationship with my parents: financial independence and distance. When I moved away for school and started earning my own money, they began to see me as a person who could decide and do for himself. That sucks because I was born with the ability to decide and do. Money and Lagos didn’t give it to me.
Great piece; it’s very important that parenting is deliberate and geared towards recognising children as people, not subjects. 🫶🏼
Hi Treasure! I absolutely loved reading this piece cause I related to it so much, except now that my parents finally see me, I actually find it quite uncomfortable. Anyways, what I really wanted to say is that even before reading your piece today, I’ve thought a lot about my relationship with my parents, how that affects me now, and the kind of relationship I want to have with my own kids. At some point I concluded that my parents (who were more or less like yours) parented the way they did cause it’s easier to control someone than to hear them out and negotiate workable terms. But after reading your piece, a thought came to me: maybe it wasn’t about what was easier and what wasn’t, cause at the end of the day, our parents loved us, and if they were convinced that there was a healthier way to raise us, regardless of their finances or other factors, they would have at least tried. I think our parents raised us the way they did because they were conditioned (by their own parents and childhood experiences) to believe that that was the best way to raise children.
Realizing that shift, the one where you’re allowed to air your opinions without being scared and you’re now being included in conversations and they try to relate with you was very uncomfortable for me to settle in. It still is, because I didn’t have that growing up. I don’t shy away from intimacy but it feels awkward with my mother sometimes. I really resonated with this. Thank you Tres!❤️
I came across this at a perfect time and I couldn't be more grateful. I feel seen,I'm learning and unlearning things and yes being patient with them is another thing that can't be overemphasized. Thank you sm for this. Parents should try to understand and listen to their wards more.... ngl this is what I'm currently facing rn. Although parenting differs and some parents are never gonna agree with you no matter what you do and that's where parenting yourself comes in. Thank you for this piece, you write so beautifully and articulate your thoughts properly.
Well this piece is dear to my heart... Not just because you wrote it ❤️ but because it's a topic I would have written about and in almost the exact thought process. This gives me a sense of belonging; reminding me I'm not alone.
I liked the last paragraph. Some people's parents are never going to care about their individuality. Not out of ignorance or poverty. But pride. So it's better we just live and parent ourselves. If we're strong enough, one day we'll parent someone better.
Love this ❤️. I relate on being spoken at and it’s made me less confident in my decisions especially in boarding school and part of uni, but I’m relearning now. Parenting definitely affects how a person is or acts.
you’ve said literally everything I’d have liked to add in my comments. I’ve been reflecting on this over the past year now and your essay just affirmed a lot of assumptions that I’d made up on my mind. Thank you for this.
The most interesting thing about this story is you living in Venezuela. Igbo people just be living anywhere mehnn.
There are two things I consider instrumental in changing the dynamic of my relationship with my parents: financial independence and distance. When I moved away for school and started earning my own money, they began to see me as a person who could decide and do for himself. That sucks because I was born with the ability to decide and do. Money and Lagos didn’t give it to me.
Great piece; it’s very important that parenting is deliberate and geared towards recognising children as people, not subjects. 🫶🏼
Hi Treasure! I absolutely loved reading this piece cause I related to it so much, except now that my parents finally see me, I actually find it quite uncomfortable. Anyways, what I really wanted to say is that even before reading your piece today, I’ve thought a lot about my relationship with my parents, how that affects me now, and the kind of relationship I want to have with my own kids. At some point I concluded that my parents (who were more or less like yours) parented the way they did cause it’s easier to control someone than to hear them out and negotiate workable terms. But after reading your piece, a thought came to me: maybe it wasn’t about what was easier and what wasn’t, cause at the end of the day, our parents loved us, and if they were convinced that there was a healthier way to raise us, regardless of their finances or other factors, they would have at least tried. I think our parents raised us the way they did because they were conditioned (by their own parents and childhood experiences) to believe that that was the best way to raise children.
Realizing that shift, the one where you’re allowed to air your opinions without being scared and you’re now being included in conversations and they try to relate with you was very uncomfortable for me to settle in. It still is, because I didn’t have that growing up. I don’t shy away from intimacy but it feels awkward with my mother sometimes. I really resonated with this. Thank you Tres!❤️
Wow🫂❤️🥺
I came across this at a perfect time and I couldn't be more grateful. I feel seen,I'm learning and unlearning things and yes being patient with them is another thing that can't be overemphasized. Thank you sm for this. Parents should try to understand and listen to their wards more.... ngl this is what I'm currently facing rn. Although parenting differs and some parents are never gonna agree with you no matter what you do and that's where parenting yourself comes in. Thank you for this piece, you write so beautifully and articulate your thoughts properly.
Well this piece is dear to my heart... Not just because you wrote it ❤️ but because it's a topic I would have written about and in almost the exact thought process. This gives me a sense of belonging; reminding me I'm not alone.
I totally enjoyed reading this. This piece made me to reflect on childhood memories and some of the things that influenced me.
This is well written. I especially agree with the income angle.
I do notice that most people lack patience generally hence they carry such traits to their houses.
Also, there's a lot of books/preachings thah preach a lot of "spare the rod" tactics hence being mean is a more popular method.
I liked the last paragraph. Some people's parents are never going to care about their individuality. Not out of ignorance or poverty. But pride. So it's better we just live and parent ourselves. If we're strong enough, one day we'll parent someone better.
Love this ❤️. I relate on being spoken at and it’s made me less confident in my decisions especially in boarding school and part of uni, but I’m relearning now. Parenting definitely affects how a person is or acts.
Thank you very much Treasure. I definitely needed that last part.
you’ve said literally everything I’d have liked to add in my comments. I’ve been reflecting on this over the past year now and your essay just affirmed a lot of assumptions that I’d made up on my mind. Thank you for this.
It a beautiful piece and relatable too
Thank youb
Thank you for this.
Pretty woman!!!!!
Pretty woman walking down the street🎵
Amazing movie.
This really hit home!