It’s been a while.
The last time I sent out a newsletter, I was drinking Predator while crying and trying not to forget my cases. Now I am done with exams, and I spend my days scrolling through Netflix looking for the next interesting show to watch. Isn’t God great? (Ps. if you have great recommendations, leave them in the comment section for me!).
The past month has been crazy. We got to a 1000 subscribers on the newsletter in November (yay!), which made me super excited because it was a goal I had set in July when this newsletter started, and seeing it come to fruition was a very nice feeling. I finished my exams, saw Rema perform live and fell in love with him, attended an Owambe, went out to eat with my friends, then returned home to rest, spend time with family and reflect on the year.
The month of December is usually a very reflective period for me. I like to think about the year ending and make plans for the new year, and it’s in this spirit that I am writing this piece.
Many of us live life on auto-pilot. We go through the motions of everyday life, and any attempts to pause and reflect can generate feelings of discomfort. It may be hard sometimes to think, especially when you feel like you haven’t done a good job at meeting your goals or you had an awful year. The urge to ‘chest it’ and move on, or to fill your days with so much activity inorder to avoid your thoughts, may be high, but it’s really necessary for you to find some quiet time and assess your life, especially when you are on the path to becoming the person of your dreams (which I assume you are).
If you are trying to reflect on the year, here are a few things to can do. There’s no hard or fast rule to it, but I do believe doing these things are very helpful.
Here we go:
Make a list of everything that made you happy in 2022. The things you’re grateful for. The things that made you feel proud of yourself. A friend of mine calls them ‘champagne toasts.’ Maybe you became better at saving or completed an online course. Or you got a job and bought yourself a phone. The idea is that no matter how you feel about yourself, going through a year is an achievement, and even when you know you could have done better, you still deserve to celebrate the things you did well. So write them down, and allow yourself to feel good.
Make a list of all the things you are leaving behind in 2022. These are the ‘dropouts’ of the year. If possible, attach the reasons why you are leaving them behind so you don’t forget. Say goodbye to your inconsistency, your fear, people in your life that make you feel like shit, etc. I know it may be embarrassing, but try not to cringe too much lol.
Set a theme for 2023. Themes are fun because they give you a sense of focus and direction. One theme may be too small to cover all the areas of your life, so you can adopt two or three, but try to make them less than four for easier recollection. Find words that are all-encompassing of your desires for the new year, and hold onto them: growth, discipline, ease, etc.
Set Goals for 2023. With your themes in mind, write down goals for the upcoming year. You can divide them by different areas of your life (Career, Love, Faith, Self, etc.)
Ensure that your goals are SMART. Read this article to find out how. By this, I don’t mean you should hold on tightly to realism. Leave room for the supernatural to do its thing. You never know which of your dreams would cling to a shooting star.
Be Purposeful about your Goal setting. You have to think about the “how” and “why” of your goals; otherwise, they’d remain mere wishes. Think about the habits you will need to adopt to achieve them. For example, if you want to start a career in UI/UX design, a good habit would be practising on Figma for an hour daily. Get an accountability partner for the habits you believe would require assistance, there is power in community.
Visualize. If you are feeling up to it, make a vision board of your dreams and keep it somewhere you can see it. You can find inspiration on Pinterest or watch youtube videos about vision boarding. I really believe seeing things in the mind’s eye is a precursor to watching them manifest in real life.
Act with Intention. The catch-22 with New Year goalsetting is that it’s become a running joke for people to set New Year Resolutions and dismiss them by the 5th of January. Don’t fall into that pit, as attractive as it may be. You can warm your engine by starting to practice these goals even before the year begins. Try not to look back, you don’t want to turn to salt.
Reassess your goals monthly or quarterly. The idea is that as you go through the year, you will change in significant ways. Going over my goals for 2022, one of the goals I had set in January was to build a career in product management. By April of that year, I realized that I didn’t even like PM like that, and I moved into content marketing instead. You will grow so much through the year, so learn to reassess your dreams and goals on a short-term basis and let go of the ones that no longer align with who you are or the vision you have for yourself.
Getting your dreams to come true will require so much work from you. It’s really easy to talk about all the things you want, but it takes a lot of work, a lot of showing up, and a lot of consistency to get them, and you need to make peace with this first so that you will be prepared when the going gets rough. Growth is an uncomfortable process, but I’m sure you’ll do fine as long as you don’t give up on yourself.
Wishing you the very best as you embark on this journey.
Next week, I’ll share my EOTY reflections.
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Media I consumed this week
Man, what have I not seen?
I watched Alchemy of Souls Season 2, and LET ME TELL YOU, I am absolutely in love. Naksu is the love of my life, my baby, my girlfriend, and the idea that this season only has 10 episodes fills me with so much pain. Naksu and Jang Uk are an electric pair. What is all this tension? Should I close my eyes? I will leave the room for you two.
nobutfr i need these two in something else. idc what it is. I just want more painful pining and affection.
I watched Netflix’s The Recruit, and honestly, I think Noah Centineo is a fantastic actor. I love how raw the scenes feel, but they also feel safe enough for someone like me - who detests unnecessary violence - to watch. I enjoy the dynamic the main character shares with his roommates, and I am just really excited to see where it goes. Not feeling Russian sexy inmate sha. Just saying.
I watched Far From Home on Netflix, and I liked it. It was a refreshing story (when last did you see a Nigerian show on Highschoolers and their drama on the big screen?). I enjoyed all the twitter debates on whether Ishaya was a selfish character or not, and what was the cause of his misfortune. Reggie was hot, Zina was such a sweet babe, and I think Adufe was the MVP of the entire show. City girls are always up!
I listened to Sza’s SOS. Been listening to it on repeat, actually. I loved all the pop-culture references to movies I love, like Kill Bill and Gone Girl. Sza is bae. I missed her so much! I’ve also been listening to a lot of Phoebe Bridgers. Her music videos always leave me feeling blissfully confused. I think she’s great at deconstructing complicated feelings, and you know me, I love my sad indie music.
I think I have rambled for too long, and maybe that’s because I missed writing to you guys. 🙈 Anyways, till next week. Xoxo
Thank you ❤️
You can check out Glass Onions on Netflix, it's quite good and I am currently watching gossip girl too.